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I called her Clitosaurus or Clit for short. She called me Fart Face, and we joked about it.If my brothers or just about anyone else had called me Fart Face, I would stomp them a new asshole. I found it funny now when she said it. Lainey was going through the same experience I was, and we bonded over the adrenalin from the pain and humiliation. It made the experience so much less scary to have a friend who was doing it with me.“They probably had it worse in the old Quaker days,” I joked to Lainey that the girls had to ride like this in the back of an old horse-drawn wagon through town.“Is this even legal? Can’t we be arrested for being topless?” another girl said while pulling her binky out of her mouth.One of the other girls told her to tell the cop some bullshit about women’s lib and feminism, and he’d let it slide.“What if that doesn’t work?” the nervous girl asked.“Then offer to suck his dick,” I remember that girl saying with a laugh that suggested she was serious.It was there. “Just be glad you’re alive. You were so worried they’d paralyze you, count your damn blessings. You’re here, everything else is secondary.”“Not if I don’t survive long afterwards.”“Please! You were sure they were going to kill you and were prepared to die in a couple weeks anyway. What difference does it make now? Be satisfied you’re breathing. You’ve got to learn to thank God for small miracles, rather than demanding immediate answers all the time.”“I’ll try to keep that in mind, if I survive long enough,” he joked. Jane didn’t appreciate it, though Toni tried to muffle a snort. Her response, more than anything, lightened Phil’s mood.“Seriously, I was on pins and needles the entire time. When they called us to come down, I was astounded. They told me you wouldn’t be ready before noon, at the earliest. Have they told you how it went?”“They haven’t said a thing, though they seem to be avoiding me, which makes me nervous.”“Ah, that explains the foul mood,” Jane teased, leaning over to.
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